...and just remembered

[slowfox]

Unless you know who I am before you knock, do not expect a warm welcome at Castle Fox's front door on a Sunday afternoon.

I was ploughing my way through that Merlin book I mentioned when, lo!, there was a knock at the portcullis door.

Mali, naturally, went beserk, as is his wont, but I managed to keep him outside the airlock^*, and answered the door to find two very smarmy looking types in matching suits and ties smiling million dollar smiles at me.

Thinking very much that I know already what this is about, I scan their respective chests to see, yes, name badges. I didn't read their names, because the name 'Jesus Christ' was written larger still, which was enough.

slowfox: don't waste your time, I'm an atheist. Thanks. Bye

Missionary: *very strong American accent* Gee! What made you make that decision? *smiles smug smile*

slowfox: I'm a rationalist *closes door*

Missionary (though the closed door): I wish I was a rationalist.

I swear, I can *hear* the vacant smile through the door.

slowfox (through door): You should try it sometime.

Then, remembering that I'm not supposed to be engaging these people in conversation, I head back through to the living room, vowing that next time I'm answering the door with the dog at my side.


* - Castle Fox isn't actually underwater, despite the weather's best attempts a couple of years back. Nonetheless, I do try to ensure that the front door isn't open if the door from the hall to the living room is, and vice versa, so as not to unleash the Hound of d00m on the Dukeries unrestrained

Comments

[yvi]

don't waste your time, I'm an atheist. Thanks. Bye

Heh :) I like your way of dealing with them.

[slowfox]

Because I live in what might euphemistically be called a 'high density housing' area, it's rich pickings for door-to-door people, because they can hit a large number of households with relatively little travelling 'twixt each one.

So, over the years, my 'please go away' spiel has become ever more curt.

[glittertine]

*sniggers* That's efficient. Who were they, then? Collecting Christians?

[slowfox]

I'm suspecting that they were Jehovah's Witnesses, but I didn't give them an opportunity to introduce themselves fully!

[queenriley]

Good way to deal with them. Though I wonder, what would you do if I showed up on a Sunday afternoon with a hastily scribbled bit of Sharpie on cardboard that says "(QueenRiley is) desperately seeking Slowfox"? :P

Not that I'd be able to hide (or afford) an international flight and vacation or anything. But it's a happy thought nonetheless.

[slowfox]

Unless you know who I am before you knock <-- Crucial!

Well, you know who I am, so you get a (very) warm welcome, should you ever wend your way to Castle Fox!!! <3

[sophie8]

Poor Mali, deprived of nutty Christian nomminess. Except he would have just licked them and been generally thrilled to see them.

[slowfox]

I think they'd have been less thrilled to see him... Next time, for definite.

[loup_noir]

Missionaries drive me insane. We live at the end of a very long dirt road and our place is behind a fence. You would think that would stop them. I watched a large, expensive black sedan a year or two ago cruise past the gate, go up to the only other house at the end of the long gravel drive. I just knew they were *them.* About fifteen minutes later, the sedan cruised back, slowed down, and I watched, much amused, while the idiots parked in a drainage ditch. I waited until the guy opened the gate and started to let himself in, before I walked out onto the porch and hollered down that, if he was here to save my soul or proselytize in any way, shape or form, he should get off my property immediately.

The last ones, a group of four, arrived in a Hummer. The driver, the classic silver-haired rich sort, bounced out of the rig and asked if we'd heard the "good news." Perfectly happy with my soul the way it is. Nowgetthehelloffmyproperty.

The first batch out here drove back to the old cabin, down a very small goat path of a drive. I wasn't there. Tim was confused at first. He hadn't been around at our other places when the missionaries would show up, so he was a little slow figuring out what was up. I suspect he was much nicer about kicking them out than I've ever been.

[slowfox]

These particular two were very oily/smarmy/repulsive...

I used to be a lot nicer to doorsteppers, and would try and let them get their spiel out of the way before telling them I wasn't interested, but I soon came to the realisation that it's quicker to cut them off mid-stream and say that you're not interested.

Even then, a surprising number will still continue to talk to the closed door.