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In the customary fox-like manner of preparedness, P and I went to pick up tools that, in all probability, would have proved much more useful yesterday. Still, next time, I am totally sorted.

Anyway, B&Q, I learned to my cost, has taken to broadcasting covers of songs over the internal PA.

Not just any old covers, mind. Excruciatingly bad covers of really good songs.

Songs like Perfect (Fairground Attraction), Fast Car (Tracy Chapman), I Knew You Were Waiting (George Michael and Aretha Franklin). What makes things all the more painful is that the cover artistes are evidently trying to stamp their own personal authority through their warbling, and thus you're 'treated' to the most bizarre renditions of said ditties.

Poor P was watching me literally wince in pain as each successive travesty launched a fresh assault on the bastions of reason, good taste and ... well, just plain fair play.


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